Pieces of me

shattered

by chris williams

pieces of me
all that’s left
i’m drained  
empty
pieces of a life
shattered by broken dreams
broken home
trusting zero I head out alone
picking up the pieces
basking in the memories of young nieces
nephews all grown up
I saw them met them
their smiles their “uncle Chris”
leaves me in pieces
I am the weakest link
goodbye
reality says nose dived
off the cliff went hopes of a happy home
piece of mind found wrapped in memories of
times with mom and older brother
my nephew coming into my room to say ucle
uh oh
maybe my life’s not
pieces of shattered fragments
I wish i could turn back time still
unfulfilled unhappy
I remain
trying to make sense of insane
mother’s day is near
she’s underground
her ashes i cannot hug
thank her for the love she could give
I keep telling myself
“I’ll live”
in pieces

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Reality’s fangs

 

by chris williams

taking sides
taking offense
offended by words so easily
happiness leaves me alone
why didn’t she call me
car stalls me
throw her up against the wall
no fear of consequences
jumpin the fence when the cops come
done with being nice
finger on trigger
I shot twice
first her then her boyfriend
rage subsides
finding myself shackled in court room
we find the defendant
void of any self control
twisted I got it
my demon’s cheering I fought it
I hate love and love revenge
in the very end I’m
headed to prison
sentenced to life of confinement
behind bars my time’s spent
thinking of what I’ve done in a metal cage
all because of rage
and the rays of my anger’s sun
justice is served they say to themselves
but I took a life of a loved one of a family
trying to get even with a white girl
insults then bullets I hurled
lack of perception ruined my world
grasping the bars of my prison cell
looking out wishing saying to myself
“what if?”
but shoulda woulda coulda drifts
away from the shore
this isn’t just thinking anymore
now it’s real!

Lost children

by Chris Williams

They run through fields and valleys
hanging out in dark alleys
waiting and wantin a good time
momma sittin at home worried to death
child please come home!
lamp in the living room burns with hopes
parents try to cope with son’s illness
daughter fightin with her mother
screams cries and vents taking punishments
child resents presents a problem
door slams can’t stop em from going
off into a world of wolves and cougars
hookers pimps and players
child seeking fun and games
straying away from flocks playing cops and robbers
getting arrested runaway
hit when the bullets spray
wrong way
them children gone die someday
swayed by the web of deceit filled snakes
giving them platforms a swing to swing from
a child not chastened is a child numb
can’t play dumb we’re their elders
they won’t stop cause they know not
sneaking outta school drooling at the sight of no homework to do
what a fool believes he sees
even if it saves them
paves the way for a safe return
children with no god
knowledge is power but they unplug the cord
bored with rules and right and wrong
before 18 dead and gone
dreams shattered mama papa shed tears
they need a older shoulder
boulders to block them
shock them back to shape and form
bees will swarm to sting them
mama warned them back to safety
back to shoreline in due time
they are like children yours and mine
from birth to 18 like the prodigal son
returning after they hit rock bottom
they won’t sink if we rescue them…
Now!

I used to love her

by chris williams

Put her on that pedestal
higher than other ladies
crazy as it seems
she astounded me
i used to think she was queen
seemed like she shined
brighter than the sun
she was stunning I’m running on empty
just to see her
I used to love her smile getting her phone calls
breakin my neck just to get a glimpse
day in and day out
it was all about her
i used to be attached
then mistreated by my “match”
mind wrapped up in daydreams of
her and I longing to know her
i used to love her but
things changed after six years
her phone calls disappeared
personality stale as bread crumbs
she used to leave me numb
I’m left with my feelings
dumb confused and used
guess i lose
believed in the lies she told
the years have passed
she’s no longer held in my grasp or reach
I used to preach a sermon
all about her
only to realize she was a blur
I’m searchin for the reason why I’m
denied by her and it’s fine by her
I used to love her but then she tested my limits
Goodbye farewell
you gimmick!

Why I watched porn

By chris williams

Female human beings dependent on my wallet’s contents
Treat her like a lady? Nonsense
Disappointed she sighs
Untruthful she lies
No tears from my eyes unconcerned
When she died
Patience with women torn from fabric once whole
Sold her soul to get a Prada purse
In a man’s arms she basks
Next week in another man’s grasp
She sells out for spa treatments and treasury notes
I watch porn she’s a joke
Controlled easily by remote
Led by nose
Striking poses for guys at the bar or nightclub
Money can’t buy you love
Givin it up just to get nail and hair done
She’s cleverly disguised
While porn never lies or tries to despise
She’s…reachin for stars from a rich man’s sky
I watch porn cause she died
a good man taken for granted
Planted a tree she pulls up from its roots
And they call porn gals “prostitutes?”
Her inner beauty obsolete
Thought she was unique till I watched porn
The same chick in dirty magazine and DVD
Cloned
Their bodies they rent to own
A book full of fables
Ready and willing to take a facial
Just like in those movies
No respect for you so I got porn
“real woman” you call yourselves
Just like the chick on the box cover
Different lovers under dirty sweaty sheets
Obsolete minds
Putting out most of the time
Friends?
They’re not mine
two week notice
I resign!

Maybe

depress

by chris williams

Maybe I’m ugly
maybe I need a facelift
maybe my looks are tasteless
maybe I’m a waste of time
maybe i’m a bit too kind
maybe i’m a slave to the grind
maybe I don’t fit the mold
maybe my house has been sold
maybe I aint worth my weight in gold
maybe i don’t have a spine
maybe my sun no longer shines
maybe my existence is a tragedy
maybe they’ll hear my cries
maybe they’ll cease to despise
maybe they’ll stop tellin lies
maybe i’m thinkin too much
maybe i’m carryin a crutch
maybe i’m losin my touch
maybe i’m not fit to survive
maybe I should’ve died
maybe I shoulda crossed that bridge
jumped that north avenue railing
maybe i failed this test
maybe i’m smart to second guess
maybe i’ve been deceived
and just need to…believe

Dreams

wishwell

by chris williams

oh we bask in the sun of ambition
stirring hurrying throughout our lives
dreaming
striving for a better paying position
wishing we were somewhere or someone else
wrapping ourselves in the covers of
hopes desires and infatuations
we throw pennies into the fountain
asking for our prayers to be answered
our cancers cured
our cupboards filled
our bills are still on the living room table
Life is still complicated
the children are still a nuisance
the alarm clock wakes us
the slumber ends
and reality begins…again

Go daddy

by chris williams

leave your children stranded
in the kitchen with unclean faces and dirty clothes
when you comin home dad? nobody knows
there you go daddy off to the races
leave your mark on that woman’s face
run your fingers down that woman’s lace
off you go daddy into the night
outta sight outta mind

can’t score so daddy’s mad
time for another rubber another lover
hug her kiss her go daddy please
leave us here with skinned knees
your children you’ve forgotten
too busy plottin and schemin
needy harlots screamin your name
daddy who? daddy’s gone
go daddy take your money and run
go daddy screw the broad for fun
is it her my mama or your wife
go daddy take a hike now
too busy to be a daddy right now
Christopher’s no part of your plans
daddy’s home but not for long
still longin for the feel of her thongs
wait till my dad gets home?
from 11 to 19 never there
from 19 to 40 i don’t care
daddy’s gone forever
no tears for a coward
sour taste in my mouth bitter
can’t mourn a quitter
another student with falling grades
go daddy
to your grave!

Beauty is silent

by chris williams

makeup and mascara talk loud
eyeliner holds its head to sky
but true beauty  utters no words
to boast of curves is futile
a real woman moves like the Nile
her style is seen but her deeds heard
beauty is silent
her breast have eyes
Yet they remain closed
underneath a blouse so as not to arouse
beauty is silent and still
though she is quiet
her lips tell the truth
as she chats with fellas who
long after her fruits
Her beauty never makes a fuss
no message on facebook posted
she is worth waiting for
a delicate elegant fire silently sitting quietly
watching the sun rise
watching over her children family and close friends
Her beauty is silent…again
Its quietness a breath of fresh air
In a world full of smog

A vow broken

by Chris Williams
(c) 2016

a vow’s broken
words spoken silently
reacting violently he throws a fit
in a midst of a struggle
her pleas of mercy muffled
shuffling feet shuffling papers
veering off course divorce settlement
landlord meddles for rent
pedals pushed driving at high speed
he’s weaving she cheats so he’s leaving
a vow breaks into glass fragments
their love strong now stagnant
they compete for power both sour inside
their minds in different worlds
he finds a different pearl
she finds his embrace online
a vow’s bond shattered
layers tattered and torn
then a child is born
torn between mom and dad
sadness and feelin mad
the vow spoken now submerged
their tongues can’t recite the words
what was once common ground
bound for ruin
like Rome in ancient times
picking up pieces of themselves
the vows they promised sit idle
vital signs turned comatose states
dismayed each soul depart ways
their hearts and souls displays
the stench of failure under their noses
the wind and cold withered her roses